It’s been a while.

On the job search front, I may’ve found something.  I’m currently waiting to hear back about a job I applied to through a staffing agency.  Either way the staffing agency has hired me.  So regardless there is hope.

I’m utterly bummed out, as I work a bunch this weekend, while N is actually off.  I managed to get rid of one shift but work Saturday and Sunday night.  The Saturday shift is the worst because it is from 5 to 11 or later.  I wasn’t aware of this whole “Valentine’s Day Weekend” thing.  I seriously never thought about it or cared until I got to work and saw my schedule.

N and I had a bad fight last Saturday.  It had a lot to do with all the stress of the previous week.  To say the least, it was a doozy, so we were both really looking forward to this weekend.  The one weekend he is off for the next month.  On Sunday, before I went in and saw the schedule, I thought about going up to see my parents this weekend.  I mean if I get a full-time job it is far less feasible that we’ll make it there, and my parents still hardly know N.  I called N and talked to him (he had watch), and he thought it sounded good.  I then called my mom and sister and told them we would probably be up this weekend.  Then I began to really look forward to being “home” (I know I can’t really call it that anymore, but I feel like my parents’ house will always be “home” to me).  And then I was the schedule and had the whole Valentine’s Day Weekend spiel given to me.

It pretty much ruined my night and the next day.  I was so irritated.  I guess I never thought much about Valentine’s Day or knew that there was a weekend dedicated to it.  In the past I’ve generally been single or freshly out of a relationship or at the rough end of one.  Hell, the first time I had a real boyfriend and was all in love, that’s when he cheated on me.   Either way I never really gave two fucks about Valentine’s Day.  Last year was the first time that it even mattered slightly, and I wrote N a heart-felt card and sent two origami hearts I made.  He sent me more than a dozen of the most glorious roses I had ever laid eyes on.

All of this being said, we are going out to dinner tomorrow night for (surprise! surprise!) Valentine’s Day.  You can scoff at and ponder my hypocrisy all you want.  But even though N is calling it our date for Valentine’s Day, I’m fairly certain we would’ve gone out on a date this weekend either way.  We haven’t done that in several weeks.