cock blocked by a facebook-whore

Facebook.  It’s kind of a little weird.  Suddenly you have a “social network” of people that you hardly ever see or really talk to.  I’ve been thinking about this for a while as yesterday one of my roomies commented on my friend (facebook addict) adding her.

So far all of my friends that facebook addict has met have immediately been added on his Facebook.  When I say immediately I mean the night of meeting them.  Most recently with my roomie he added, he had briefly met her one time when he and I stopped by my townhouse and one night at the bar he hungout with us for a short time.  It’s not as bad as some cases but she found it odd just like I do.

The strangest thing is one time he added the wrong person when searching for my roommate last year.  Suddenly he and I had a friend in common who I went to highschool with.  One day I asked him how he knew her,

“Oh I thought that was _____ and added her.  Although I was drunk when I met _____ and added her, I didn’t think it looked much  like her…”

Well yeah because it isn’t her but then you already know that since you went and found my actual roomie and added her.

While, there is nothing wrong with being friendly, is Facebook really friendly or more of just a creepy way to keep track of people and be like woohoo I have 500 “friends”?  I mean obviously he isn’t talking to either of my roommates (past or present) and no one does talk to everyone on their Facebook, but is it really necessary for him to do that every time?

It’s just odd and call me weird but it does bother me.  I mean lets at least hangout a couple of times or talk to the person a bit before sprinting home to add them on Facebook.

Besides adding people like crazy (which really can be almost embarrassing), the night after he met my sister and added her on Facebook an instant message pops up from him (this was like 10am-ish the next morning).  We both couldn’t help but agree that it was kind of creepy.  She became invisible and later blocked him.  When he asked me about her AIM we decided to tell him it was messed up.  I’m not sure if he ever hit my old roomie up on AIM but she also thought the entire thing was creepy and hilarious.

While I love this friend like any other I wish he would stop throwing himself at people.  Being friendly is one thing but he seems to be heading down the path of eventually stalking people on the internet.  And I know embarrassment is silly but when my roomie mentioned and laughed about him adding her I did blush.

Plus, if you’re going to be desperate at least be desperate about something a little more important then Facebook friends;  and yeah I would also appreciate breathing space from him as lately it’s like we’re attached at the hip (it’s driving me crazy!!!).  And when I say attached at the hip I mean a billion instant messages whether or not I’m available, calls and texts when I go out without him, sometimes texts to let me know he’s online (i.e. I want to talk to you! please please please get online!!)and a constant urging to hangout with him every single evening.

And honestly I never experienced “cock blocking” until facebook addict started going out with me and my friends.  To say the least it’s dreadful, and even when it’s just some guy buying me drinks, who I would never sleep with, facebook addict hovers close and butts into our conversations.  This is after I even tell facebook addict I’m working the guy for drinks (yeah feminists usually hate me).

the final act

Okay… so maybe someone just recently got in touch with me.

And maybe they acted like they never vanished.  Like everything was great and fun like it was.

But it can’t be the same and that really showed through.  I know things have changed for this person and I still don’t know why he randomly texted me late that night… boredom maybe?…

He even made a suggestive shower joke.  Of all things!  and asked me to stay awake to chat (I of course am up most of the night anyway and told him that instead of something like, “oh I’ll stay up all night to talk to you!”). He even said “good morning” the next day…

I know he must still have his special person (where was she last night…?) and thats nice.  I’m kind of past the entire “thing” we had, but at the same time I am now stuck thinking about him… quite a lot.  I admit I miss him, but even now I don’t really know what I would want from him.

Basically if you walk off, even if I was completely negative and sad and cut off whatever you were planning, then just leave me alone (I know you’re never coming back to be the decent friend you were).  Unless you have something to say that somehow makes up for the vanishing act  <— and I really can’t think of anything that would (…well maybe I can but it’s not going to happen).

So next time you need entertainment or are feeling lonely don’t turn to me.  Go to someone that you’ve actually been a decent friend to, no matter how busy you were or who you were seeing.  Thanks.

i had a blast at a bar and a party and then…

I had a fantastic weekend, but I also had the most meaningless sex of my entire life.  I didn’t go into it with any ideas and it kind of just happened (does that sound unhealthy…).  But I was shocked at just how bland the entire thing actually was.  Not to mention that having this guy come home with my friends and I wasn’t at all intended (yeah a lot of stuff just happened).

The worst thing is that the day before that night I had announced becoming a “nun,” a joke although my friends all know/knew what I meant by it.  Once again as soon as I say I’m not doing something I do it.  And I recently realized this was also the case with my ex.  He was the person my roomies and I joked about and the one person I always said I would never ever sleep with and then bam! it happened and I soon after entered a relationship.

What is with this trend I have?  I guess I shouldn’t say anything at all when it comes to men, sex, and relationships.  Also, from Saturday night, my view on one-night stands has changed.  Now for me they are not all positive.  While in the past they have always helped something, and I made random, great connections to other people (heart-to-hearts with strangers);  this past Saturday was a dark spot.  To say the least I don’t want anyone coming home with me anytime soon.

blah blah blah

It’s like you bare everything to people just to realize how much they are hiding and holding back.  I’m beginning to realize that the ‘hiding and holding back’ thing is actually the norm and also the safest way to be in relationships.  So, unfortunately though I have yet to switch over to the norm and once again am stuck in an odd spot.

The biggest problem though is that my relationship is long-distance.  And my boyfriend (more friend…thinking I should’ve kept it that way), N, seems to believe that he can pry into everything I am doing and its fine;  but when it comes down to me questioning him about a night out with his man-whore (he said it himself) brother and crashing in a hotel room with his brothers “friends” things get rocky.  Is this some new double standard in the relationship world?  If so it sucks.

While, being nosy and untrusting can ruin a long-distance relationship a certain amount of asking and finding out is what holds it together and makes it grow (you have to be in each others lives).  Basically, it is like walking on a balance beam that is a billion miles up.  I’m thinking that the balance part being off is what makes a lot of these relationships fail and at this point I’m seeing just how complicated it is.  Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously hadn’t taken long-distance relationships into consideration.

The epitome of arrogant lives in my apartment…

So of all the dumb people in the world I may have the worst one living in my apartment.  My used-to-be-uber-smart-about-guys roomie is dating an asshole and when he got dishonorable discharge from the Navy he came to live with us.  On a stupidly drunken night my other roomie and I told her it would be fine (seriously a smart move to ask when drunk).

So, now he is here and we can’t stand him.  I probably dislike him more then my other roomie, as he has been rude to me and my boyfriend, as well, for no reason at all (particularly on my boyfriends part).  I don’t understand people like this.  Why be rude and not like someone when you hardly know them?…  Going out isn’t even that fun anymore because I’m always worried about what they are going to say or do next.

Possibly I’m letting them bother me too much, but this guy is an asshole.  Also, he is just living off of my roommate (he’s dating) anyway and she is too dumb to wake up and see that.  Besides this I’ve heard them twice now when he’s freaked out and been absolutely nasty to her (I mean horrid names and no respect whatsoever) and she is just like settle down and leaves the room.  Okay.  Good way to handle a fight/someone psychotic, but don’t date someone who calls you a cunt.  Can’t she wake up and see what an ass-hole-ish bum he is??

birds are evidently awake at 3am (unless they chirp in their sleep…)

So as of right now it is 5:30am and I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 3am.  Sleep and I just aren’t getting along tonight at all.

Earlier today I moved my gimongous futon around in my room, moved an awkward nightstand and some other stuff (my room is so extremely small but it was rough).  Now it is all moved back.  I am tempted to go out eat some food, watch some telly but I don’t want to wake up the roomies although I probably already have with the furniture moving.

It’s really odd that I can’t sleep.  Today I went to the gym and did 45 minutes of some pretty hard cardio and then after that went with my sister and took our dog on a long walk.

For most of the night my mind has been churning away but only in the last half an hour did it turn to stuff that used to bother me.  Suprisingly it no longer does at all (this is probably a great reason to throw a party).  Right now life is seriously wonderful.  Friday night my roommates and I went out and had a ton of fun at a bar and saw some old friends.  I also invited my “therapist”.  It was great.  Even though I am not 21 I drink a lot at bars (that I can get into that is).  My friends and I have devised sneaky ways (and sometimes far too obvious ways) for me to help them out with their drinks, and the one time a bartender did notice he just gave me a warning, so it works pretty well.

Well, this has been a completely crappy post and I apologize.  I feel like most of my thoughts are completely incomplete and that, that may be showing through but anyway, I am awake and for once it isn’t because of a negative thought or feeling — life is truly good.